Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
