Small penises have feelings too.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
