just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
