I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
