is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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