he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
