Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
