i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
