I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
