I saw his package. It spoke to me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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