FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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