i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Shame is for Republicans.
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