he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
