There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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