But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
