So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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