I accidentally burped into my bong.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
