he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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