I think scott just propositioned me for sex
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
