I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
