What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
