You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
