I wish I only lived at night.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
