Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
