Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
