Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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