Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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