Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
