honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
