i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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