Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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