it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
