Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
