So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
