She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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