Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
