I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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