This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
