Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
