Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
