My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My feet surprised me
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