Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
