Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
