does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
