Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
