Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
