um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
