Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
