i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
