ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
